Healing

My son's girlfriend posted this today, making me stop and think.  I've been good about letting go of the situations that caused me suffering in the past... or so I think, but then stuff creeps up, and triggers happen, and I realize so much of it is still in there, trapped, hurting, weighing heavy on me.  "Occupying space" that I should be holding for better things.

I have a great life.  I've come so far.  When I think about where I was ten, even 5 years ago, compared to where I am now, I'm stunned.  So many amazing changes, less stress, less "suffering."  How happy that single Mom I became 15 years ago would have been to have what I have now.  How RELIEVED she would have been to be able to buy things for her kids without worrying about money, to go out to eat without looking at the prices on the menu, and to take them on vacation, knowing she could.

Those were dreams back then.  Now it's reality.  I'm so grateful.  And yet, sometimes I still feel like I'm "suffering" because someone says something that doesn't make me feel good, worthy, or just makes me sad or angry.  I've done so much healing, and I still need to look at the role I play in my own suffering.

A work in progress....