Hard to believe that 8 months ago we lost our pup, Barney and today his brother Simon joined him. I didn't think it could hurt this much. Losing Barney was hard, he was always at my side. I felt his loss so deeply. I was grateful to still have Simon but he was different, sometimes a bit distant, mostly kept to himself, and I guess I thought that would lessen the loss, but I was wrong.
He was 14 and I know he had a good life, but I still questioned myself. Did I do enough? Was it too soon? Was he really ready? Those questions torment me again. His dementia was stealing his life and his anxiety was so bad I could hear him shaking all the time. It broke my heart.
I always promised myself that when the time came, I would do what was best for them, and not be selfish. I didn't want them to suffer. But there's that little voice that wonders if I was making their life better or mine? I know that's a harsh question. I devoted so much time and love to them and it was worth every second and every tear that rolls off my face now.
Tonight after Simon crossed over, the two statues that I bought 8 months ago lit up for the first time in a while. Last night only one lit up. I felt it was Barney letting me know he was waiting for Simon. Tonight I felt they were letting me know there were together.
Know you were loved, sweet boys, rest in peace. I am forever grateful. 🙏 Thank you for coming into my life, for rescuing me, and for awakening a part of my soul that I didn't even know existed. 💜
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