My sweet pup, Barney, is going to cross the rainbow bridge in a couple of hours. My heart is broken but at the same time, I'm happy he'll be free from pain.
It would have been 9 years in September that we adopted him and his brother Simon, both from the same litter, had been living in a high kill shelter and came as a "package deal". I was happy to take them both. They were almost 5 at the time and I hadn't had a dog in about 35 years. Honestly didn't even think much about having a dog, but my husband is such an animal lover, and I eagerly accepted these 2 pups into my life.
Of course, the first couple of months I thought I must be crazy, they're a lot of work, but eventually they became my kids and my life, and I have loved them so much.
Barney was diagnosed with diabetes almost 5 years ago and I managed to keep him going despite the naysayers who said most dogs with diabetes die within a year and go blind. He had cataracts but he could still see me, and I had done so much research, changed is food, did everything I could to keep him healthy.
Of course, what I couldn't control was the cancer in his foot. That was a surprise, and it quickly took a toll on him despite the many supplements, the toe amputation, the acupuncture, and everything else I tried. It suddenly started to spread quickly, he couldn't walk on it anymore and his quality of life quickly declined.
I spent many nights begging God and the Angels to take the cancer away, but deep down I knew it was his time and I knew that I didn't want to let go, no matter when it happened.
He is my spirit animal. We've had such an amazing connection. He follows me everywhere, sleeps under my desk while I work, sits on my feet when I'm in the bathroom, and my heart will ache with the loss of his physical presence, but I know his spiritual presence will always be with me.
I wish that could be enough... but for now, it will have to do...
Goodbye, sweet boy, run free and happy again. I will always love you and there will never be another beautiful soul like you, though I know one day you will send me another one to love and care for on this earth. 💜
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